No, I'm not talking about employment - I mean the kind of person around you who is suffering miserably. Like the guy in the Bible, you know the one - his story is told right after Esther's.
Yeah - that Job. Long O.
Well, I've got a couple right now. They are hurting, they've suffered loss and tragedy, and they've been persevering through a lot of hard circumstances for a long time. They are seemingly bitter at God, unsure if His promises will ever come to pass, and ready for Him to ANSWER them already! To me it seems their faith seems to be slipping at times, and then the next day, they're declaring His goodness once again. Just like this:
“I cannot keep from speaking.
I must express my anguish.
My bitter soul must complain.
Am I a sea monster or a dragon
that you must place me under guard?
I think, ‘My bed will comfort me,
and sleep will ease my misery,’
but then you shatter me with dreams
and terrify me with visions.
I would rather be strangled—
rather die than suffer like this.
I hate my life and don’t want to go on living.
Oh, leave me alone for my few remaining days.
“What are people, that you should make so much of us,
that you should think of us so often?
For you examine us every morning
and test us every moment.
Why won’t you leave me alone,
at least long enough for me to swallow!
If I have sinned, what have I done to you,
O watcher of all humanity?
Why make me your target?
Am I a burden to you?"
-Job 7:11-20
But then just a little while later, he goes into this declaration of faith and praise:
"For God is so wise and so mighty.
Who has ever challenged him successfully? . . .
He does great things too marvelous to understand.
He performs countless miracles."
-Job 9:4,10
These extremes can leave one with some whiplash if you're trying to walk with your Job on the road of his trial. I know God is teaching these people some amazing lessons and I trust that on the other side of these difficulties and sorrows, they are going to be so much stronger and even better fit to serve in His Kingdom. But how do I serve them effectively NOW?
The answer also lies in the book of Job in that by example of his friends, the Bible teaches us what NOT to do. Here are a few main points:
1. Shut up. Yup I said it. The most effective way to love a Job is to close your mouth. Don't talk. Don't mumble. Don't even try to console or reason or argue - you will dig yourself a dirty messy hole of mud that will only cave in on you and Job both. Don't engage in conversation when Job is venting. Don't try to give a cliché answer like "It will all work out" or "Trust in God" - none of that. Here's my tip for loving the Job in your life: take a clothes-pin out of your junk drawer, insert both of your lips and allow the clamp to shut. Do not remove said clothes-pin until your Job has put away his broken pottery and his shaking fist, and not a minute before. . .
2. Stay put. Take on an attitude that is willing to suffer too, no matter how painful it will be. Put on your brave face and don't move a muscle to leave. Job needs to know that you will be there for him, and that you won't desert him, no matter how hard it gets. NEVER do as Job's wife actually did and tell him to curse God and die already. Uh, yeah - not so helpful. Plant your feet, plant your butt, and use your body language and countenance to show that you love Job unconditionally and that you are willing to smell the stench of his sores until they are healed.
3. Cry. Allow yourself to feel his pain. Don't pretend it wouldn't hurt if you were the one covered in dust and tears. Look into his eyes and feel as much of his pain as you can bear. Don't look away, don't harden your heart, don't steel your emotions . . .
4. Touch him. Offer a hand over his, a shoulder to cry on, an embrace, and a loving caress. (Okay, this will only work appropriately in certain relationships – I’m not suggesting this for a cross-gender Job in your life)
Maybe you don’t know what I’m talking about yet, but someday you will. How do I know this? Because life is HARD. Period.
Read the book of Job this week and let me know your thoughts on how to best love someone going through extremely difficult trials. I’d love some of your pointers too . . .
